A transplant fails. A dam is failing. And a hard pass on the Supreme Court. It’s Thursday, and here are the 5 things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door.
The center doesn’t hold: If there was any doubt this election is less about appealing to middle-of-the-roaders and more about motivating the party base, the Dem debate sealed the deal. We know The Donald wants mass deportation. Last night we learned Bernie and Hillary want … none. At all. We were also treated to a boxing-match worthy of blows and parrying blows. Hillz would lay out a PowerPoint-by-point case on why Bernie was wrong – and then Bernie would skillfully change the subject, making it difficult to land an effective punch. Here’s are the 5 takeaways.
If at first you don’t succeed …: It was no doubt a revolutionary procedure full of promise for infertile women. But alas, the first uterus transplant in the U.S. was a bust. It had to be removed after just two weeks because the patient developed a serious complication. The Swedes have done this 9 times and 4 of those women have had babies. The Cleveland Clinic, where the U.S. transplant took place, has 9 others planned. Because this is ‘Murica, dangit. We never give up.
We knew it!: American Special Forces in Iraq got their hands on a top ISIS chemical weapons guy and he spilled the beans on what we’d been suspecting all along: ISIS has carried out mustard gas attacks. Sidebar: Mustard gas is a no-no in warfare because it burns your eyes, your skin and your respiratory tract. But since when does ISIS play by the rules. What we don’t know yet is whether ISIS has any plans to use chemical agents in attacks against the West. It’s unclear whether the captured dude has that info.
A dam big dilemma: The Mosul Dam is northern Iraq is yuuge. And it’s also a mess. Experts say it can fail catastrophically with zero warning. That can’t be good. If it lets loose, up to 1.5 million Iraqis will be flooded — even in Baghdad which is TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY MILES away! You can’t blame ISIS for this potential-disaster-in-waiting. They don’t have control of the dam. Nope, it’s not the baddies, it’s bureaucracy. The U.N. put out an emergency appeal to repair the dam. The response? A measly 8 percent!
See how they run: You’d think judges would salivate for a shot at the Supreme Court. A lifetime gig with no performance reviews EVER! Um, not so much. Every name being thrown around to replace the late Justice Antonin Scalia are saying “Thanks, but no thanks.” The latest? Federal Judge Adalberto Jordan. That’s two in 24 hours. Attorney General Loretta Lynch nixed the idea Tuesday.
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A woman is busted on a flight from Turkey to France, trying to smuggle a 2 to 4 year-old in a bag. Right, like no one would notice!
Ridin’ the waves
Why do so many freaky things come from Australia? We introduce a newly discovered spider that surfs to catch dinner. Oh, and dinner is frogs!
Reinventing the wheel
Goodyear thinks that if we’re going to reinvent the car, we might as well reinvent the tires too. And make them spherical.
Kick up your heels
A romp after a long winter: It’s not just for kids anymore.
Is that a snake, eh?
Global warming concern No. 583: more poisonous snakes slithering their way into Canada.
1,338 — The number of rhinos slaughtered in Africa last year. That’s more than three a day – a modern poaching record.
And finally …
Twist and Shout
Sure, the guy in yellow is funny, but for a dose of pure joy keep your eyes on the tiny old lady in pink.