Maybe it wasn’t an H-bomb… Maybe Ted Cruz can’t be President… And maybe your Wall Street friends are gonna have a really bad day. It’s Thursday, and here are the five things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door.
NORTH KOREA NUCLEAR BOMB TEST
Did it really happen?: North Korea bragged to anyone who’d listen yesterday about the success of its nuclear bomb test. But was it a hydrogen bomb? The White House isn’t buying it, and Norsar, a group that monitors nuclear tests, said the blast was too small to have come from a hydrogen bomb. We’ll probably never know for sure, since North Korea continues to play the role of the world’s biggest recluse.
Birthers are back!: Ted Cruz birtherism is officially a thing now, after Donald Trump said he wasn’t sure Cruz — who was born in Canada to an American mom — was even eligible to be president. And John McCain of all people agrees with Trump, saying it’s “worth looking into.” Remember, McCain faced his own birther questions during his 2008 run because he was born in Panama (but on a U.S. military base). Another reason why McCain is jumping into the fray: he pretty much hates Cruz’s guts.
This time will be different: That’s what the GOP says after Congress passed Obamacare repeal legislation that will finally get to the President’s desk — where it will go down in flames. President Obama has vowed a veto, and the GOP doesn’t have enough votes to override it. So why even do it at all? House Speaker Paul Ryan said it shows a contrast with the Dems and highlights the need for a Republican president. Think that point’s already been made after 60+ votes to repeal the law.
Bad advice: Germans were shocked by New Year’s Eve sex assaults and muggings in a number of cities. Groups of men of Arab or North African descent preyed upon women out celebrating the holiday. More than 100 complaints were filed in Cologne, while dozens of other attacks were reported in Hamburg and Stuttgart. The whole thing has reignited the debate over Germany’s open embrace of migrants. And Cologne’s mayor is in hot water after advising yesterday that women protect themselves by holding strange men at “an arm’s length.” Pfui!
Winter’s coming: Brace yourselves, investors. It’s probably going to be another crappy day. Once again things started off badly this morning in China, where stock trading was halted just 30 minutes after markets there took a 5% dive. Over here, the Dow dropped 252 points yesterday, as Wall Street tried to absorb not only the Chinese turmoil, but also North Korea’s alleged nuke test along with the latest belly flop in oil prices. It’s the Dow’s worst start to the trading year since 2008, and we all remember how great that turned out.
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Quote of the day: “It’s the same battles that my ancestors had. And now it’s just a bunch of different cavalry wearing a bunch of different coats.” Jarvis Kennedy, council member of the Burns Paiute tribe, talking about the armed group that’s taken over the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon. The land belonged to the Native American tribe’s ancestors long before ranchers and farmers had it.
Attention, future millionaires
Don’t even bother checking your Powerball ticket. You didn’t win last night. Nobody did. But cheer up: Saturday’s jackpot is now $675 milllion, the largest in U.S. history.
Can’t be too careful
A 10-year-old girl gets a 2-minute pat down from the TSA, and boy is her dad ticked off. He posted the video of the whole thing online. The TSA said it had to do it because … she had a Capri Sun drink in her bag. No, really.
Back to the future
At the Consumer Electronics Show, Sony has shown us the future, and it’s a … turntable? OK, it’s a “hi-res” turntable that can convert vinyl records into digital files, but still, it’s a turntable.
Ms. Jackson doesn’t have cancer. That’s the word, via Twitter, from Janet Jackson yesterday as she shot down rumors she had throat cancer.
AND FINALLY …
Imma let you finish, but …
Some random guy did his best Kayne West impersonation last night at the People’s Choice Awards.