If they can rouse themself from a disinterested funk, Britons will be yawning their way to voting booths this week after what most people agree has been one of the dullest campaigns since… since.. oh who cares.
It hasn’t all been dull though.
At least we learned this:
1. If you want to know how popular you are, don’t ask a child
It’s a still photograph so we can’t see whether she’s repeatedly smacking her head against the table or just having a brief time out.
2. Don’t pretend to be Moses. Or Spinal Tap
Opposition leader Ed Miliband carved his election pledges on an enormous slab of limestone. Or is it a gravestone for his political career?
3. Women all of a sudden are cool. Really cool
They’ve always been cool, of course. But Miliband’s not the only one who looks like he wants in on the hugs between Leanne Wood of the Welsh Plaid Cymru party, Natalie Bennett of the Green Party and Nicola Sturgeon of the Scottish National Party.
4. But hang on, Ed Miliband is also all of a sudden cool? Really cool?
Once mocked for his inability to eat a bacon sandwich and generally move like a normal human, Miliband has begun drawing surprising comparisons to shirtless hunks and Benedict Cumberbatch.
5. Even teenagers think so
Known as #Milifans, these predominantly teenage girls may have saved the Labour leader’s campaign.
6. Except …
… maybe they haven’t. Miliband is said to have endorsed this widely shared “Careless Whisper” moment. That doesn’t stop it being deeply unsettling.
7. Never try sports … unless you’re really good at them
It can’t be hard to knock over some skittles. Especially when you’re Nick Clegg. Here, have another go.
8. Everyone loves a royal baby. Especially politicians
UK Independence Party leader Nigel Farage rarely misses an opportunity to drink beer. The birth of a royal baby? Yup, that’ll do.
9. Remember which soccer team you support
Hang on. You told us before you were an Aston Villa fan. Now it’s West Ham. Which is it?
10. Heads I win, tails you lose
In Scotland The Sun is pro-SNP but in England it’s backing Cameron’s Conservatives, who have warned that the Scottish Nationalists will break up the UK. Confusing, huh?
11. And keep your eyes open
Criticized for being too laid-back, Cameron then said he was feeling “bloody lively” about the election. Just wake me up when it’s over.